Palin-Letterman Conspiracy Theory

Yesterday I decided that this recent Palin-Letterman controversy is an elaborate ruse on both the part of the Palin and Letterman camps.

Here's the thing: Letterman's ratings have probably been slipping, what with Jay leaving and Conan replacing him, so he needed a reason for people to tune into The Late Show, instead of the Shiny New Conan at the Tonight Show. Palin's been out of the national spotlight since the end of the election and, being the mediawhore she is, doesn't like it. So when Letterman's stupid 6-second-long joke aired, boom!, opportunity came a knockin'.

First of all, I would like to mention that the joke was a)not the funny and b) aimed at 18 year old Bristol, not the actual daughter who was at the Yankees game (the younger one). On the other hand, children of politician's really should be left alone, despite the inane things said children may do. (Bristol Palin being the spokeperson for Abstinence Only? ieieiei).

What Palin really wants is to bring herself into the daily news programs again and regain some of that attention that she was missing after the election. If she really cared about protecting her children, she wouldn't do over-the-top things like accuse Letterman of being a pedophile. She'd've accepted his apology and let the thing go, so as to limit the amount of time the public was talking about her 14 year old daughter. But, anyone with a brain has to know that she's not making this fuss to protect her children. She's doing it to exploit her children in order to be the subject of conversation, articles and -whoa, hey, look at this - blogs.

Letterman's camp probably don't care so much about this, since the people who are Palin supporters aren't the ones who tune into him at night. If anything, it's her biggest detractors who are his audience, the more Left-Wing or Don't Care people. And with him being attacked by someone they essentially loathe, it might prompt them to tune into him, in support of him, rather than flip over to Conan, as they had been doing.

So it's a win-win for just about everyone except for the poor, unfortunate kid who's the center of it all, Palin's 14-year-old daughter, Willow. It's already hard being a teenager, especially at 14 year old teenager (remember freshman year? ugh ugh ugh). I can't imagine what it's like being the 14 year old daughter of an exploitative dipshit mediahog mom who makes a mountain out of a molehill in order to further her own political career.

Sorry, Willow. I hope that this is forgotten by the time school starts next year and you don't have to face loser 9th grade boys asking you about A-Rod's schlong or something descpiable like that. You have to admit that if Sarah Palin never brought this up, not one of us would be talking about it. And now her daugher has to suffer the consequences of her loathsome mother. Poor thing.

But what a boon it is for Letterman ratings and Palin political exposure!

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