Things I Am Doing in Penance for Enjoying This Week's Jersey Shore: A List

Well, I did it again. I wasted another hour of my life watching Jersey Shore, even though I said I was going to cut back on TV this month. It just happened. I don't feel well, you see. It's hard to--whatever. No excuses. Anyway, as Snooki talked about self-medicating for a UTI by taking tequila shots, "with salt" I said right then and there, I was going to have to so some serious extra brain recovery work to make up for this. So, here it is:

1. Stream a mix of Bartok, the chants of Hildegarde von Bingen, Brahms, and Nina Simone to recover the bits of my brain, my soul and my spirit that died a little while watching Ronnie smear soot on Snooki's face during "Warm Beer".

2. Take an extra Flaxseed pill for Omega 3s to replace whatever was lost while hearing Dina ask "Is ransack a word?"

3. Read something very challenging. Haven't decided what yet. Going to look through the Harvard 5 feet of books collection.

4. Watch a documentary. Something about monetary systems or birds or fractals. Something produced by Nova or Frontline. Anything to bleach my brain of the scene where Snooki pees like a dog on the back fence.

5. Go to a theater production of a biographical play about an Abstract Expressionist painter. (Done, earlier this week...)

UPDATE: I chose my Harvard Classic to read: Vol 11: Origin of the Species by Charles Darwin. It's like looking into the future for the Jersey Shore cast members. *Spoiler alert* they die off due to immense stupidity.

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