Repost: Journals from Tenth Grade (Oh my Lordy Lordy.)
Sometimes it's good to keep a journal, so you can go back to it 14 years later and laugh at yourself. It makes the current moment seem a little more "This too shall pass" and a little less "ugh."
So, here is my journal from sophomore year of high school...
Journal Discovery: Getting Dumped on V-Day and more
July 18, 2006
actual pages from one of my 1994 journals
It’s funny how we perceive memories of the past and they’re totally wrong. I mean, I thought I was a lot more innocent when I was a sophomore in high school, but apparently, I wasn’t.
Also, every journal entry from sophomore year during the one act drama competition, I talk about how much I hate Mrs. Smith, whom I have come, since becoming a high school drama teacher, to admire and respect and find nice compared to, say, me.
Another thing that’s funny is the people I talk about in the journal entry from twelve years ago: Jesse, Danielle, Katie, Kara, Danielle T, Keri…all people I have spoken to at least once in the last three months, if not more. How weird. Part of that is thanks to the magic of myspace and facebook. Who would have thought?
Also, I wrote about wanting to be a writer, even back then. I said I didn’t know what I wanted; one thing I thought of being was an actor on SNL, but I also said maybe I’ll be a screenplay writer or a freelance writer. And I wondered what I’d be when I grew up. Twelve years later, I’m still wondering.
I used big words appropriately and I wrote well back then, especially for a 15 year old. I wrote poems, too. And re-reading them I find I didn’t hate them, which is always nice. To not completely hate the poems you wrote during the thick of adolescence says something. Here’s a poem from 1994. It was done with a whole heap of humor, mind you, but also with honesty:
Rarely does one speak of the
Snot from the same sadness
As the tears of the eye
It dribbles, sneaking out
Unlike the tears of the eye
Which are hot
and speed, elegantly, down the cheek
The nose tear creeps and falls down
Slowly, along the path of the miserable frown
And how lonely this very tear is!
For, you see, it comes alone
With no similarly depressed other
Unlike the eye tears, which follow each other
In support down to the solemn chin
The cold nose tear’s
Worth no help to anyone
But to remind
Of how slow, cold, lonely and
Sneaky a person can actually be
So, that’s the poem I wrote after being dumped on Valentine’s Day. I hope you laughed as much as I did.
Ah high school drama.