Love, Pride, and the #Queer Community - Thoughts on Orlando
I made this Pride Flag Heart Drawing with crayon while watching the news yesterday. It was that coloring therapy that everyone is getting into these days. It works. It was soothing and uplifting and cathartic to create.
I always call myself THE MOST MILITANT ALLY ON THE PLANET but maybe really I could just call myself queer. I'm straight, but I date straight, bisexual, pansexual and queer-identified men. And my relationships certainly aren't mainstream types, considering Blanche Devereaux is my role model. I also don't care the about age of my partners, older or younger, and I am definitely not a person who thinks monogamy will work for me if I ever try to have more committed relationships than just casual dating.
Plus I got to places like the one attacked. I'm out and about in the "gay community" all the time, going to Club Cafe for burlesque and cabaret shows, or drag shows at Jacques, or visiting the Country Club in New Orleans.
All I know is I was crying every half hour or so yesterday. Today it's down to every couple hours. I'm glued to the news. And I'm terrified thinking about my gay loved ones and their vulnerabilities. The fact that my baby sister could have been that bouncer at the club. That my sis and SIL could have been at Latinx night. Not to mention other family and friends who could have but for been there. And then, oh yeah, I was just in the South End on Saturday with the rest of the crowd for Pride weekend. That's terror for you, though. You think, "that could have been..." And the fear sets in
And by the way, there's no way this shithead wasn't a closet bisexual or homosexual man. You don't get that much hate unless it's compounded my sexual repression and self-hate. The thing I think about the most is: I just want to know how comfortable all the homophobes are out there, knowing their ideology lives in the same spectrum as this asshole who has killed so many people. Does that give you pause at all? If not, it should.
UPDATE: This just in from Gawker: the shooter was not straight. Somewhere bi on the Kinsey Scale. http://gawker.com/orlando-shooter-was-reportedly-a-regular-at-pulse-and-h-1781920316?utm